On being a working mother

Today marks the one year anniversary of me officially being a Working Mom. My take on the past year?

It. Sucked. And it was way more difficult than I ever imagined it would be.

It's been hard for me to wrap my heart and head around the idea of barely spending 3 waking hours with my son during the week. And let's not forget how Colin is not a morning person and usually just cries at my feet while I get my things together for work. One good thing is that I can make a mean pot of coffee one handed :)

At night when we get home, all I want to do is hang out and play with him but we get home at 5:30 PM, dinner is on the table by 6 and he's in bed by 7. That doesn't leave much time for playing. Plus he is tired and hungry and just cries. And cries. And cries. I swear he saves up his tears all day and then the second we walk in the door, he lets loose and just screams. All night. It's rough, peeps.

Lately I've been struggling with devoting time for myself. I so badly want to get back in to a workout routine but I am finding it nearly impossible. Every time - every single time - I set my alarm to wake up early and work out, Colin also decides he wants to be up early. I know you're probably thinking "Make Mark take him!". Tried it. Doesn't work. Colin has a very low tolerance for Mark (no idea why) but when they're alone, Colin usually just screams. As a mom, I emotionally can NOT listen to my child screaming and try to ignore it just for half an hour of "Me Time". His happiness is more important to me than a workout.

I try my best to get in some workouts while I'm at work. I take the stairs every chance I get, I walk on my breaks. I take the long way to my car. It definitely does help but it's not enough. I need to find other ways to fit my fitness in to my day.

My only salvation from Colin's incessant screaming and my lack of exercise is the weekend. He is an absolute angel on weekends. We play, we cuddle, we chat. There is crying but nothing like during the week. I work out during naps and meals, something I can't do during the week. It's blissful.

A little voice in my head always reminds me that the grass may not be greener on the other side, though. If I were a stay at home mom, my relationship with Colin may not be as strong as it currently is. I try to remind myself that while yes, he does scream A LOT, he is genuinely a happy, well adjusted child.

And to me, that is the most important thing.