Talking to children about tragedy

I follow Parents magazine on Facebook and after Monday's horrific events in Boston, they posted (a version of) this question: How do/would you talk to your children about a tragedy like this?

It got me thinking. Being a parent, at some point I'm going to have to answer the "Why?" questions my children will have. And I want to be prepared. I thought about it on my way home from work and the first thing I decided is that I will not solicit questions from them. I want to let them come to me with their questions about these types of situations. If it doesn't directly affect them, I find it unnecessary to bring it into their little world.

That being said, I know one day they will come to me and ask why people do bad things to other people. I want them to know I don't have the answer to that question. The only person who can answer it is the person doing the bad things. And even if that person gives a reason, it's likely no one else will understand.

People who do good, do it quietly. People who do bad, do it loudly for all to see. This is why the good doesn't make the news headlines every day.

For every bad guy, there are 10 good guys. I noticed in the pictures of Boston how many people were rushing to the scene, not away from it. That gave me comfort and I want my children to look for the good in every situation. As my favorite saying goes: Believe there is good in the world. Be the good.

Help. If any of my children are put in a situation like what happened in Boston and they are not hurt but others around them are, I want them to stay and help (obviously only if their life isn't in danger by staying). Sit with a victim and talk to them. Tell them help is coming. Hug them. Hold their hand. Give them comfort. Get them somewhere they can receive medical attention. DO ANYTHING. Even the smallest act of kindness means the world to someone who is hurt.

 Most importantly, I don't want my children to live in fear of the world or of others.

So...

My mom was recently diagnosed with late onset progressive Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I have no idea if that's the correct name but that's what it is. It's a diagnosis she ultimately knew was coming but it wasn't until recently that her doctor confirmed she's suffering from MS.

MS is not considered to be hereditary (thank goodness) but "the risk of acquiring MS is higher in relatives of a person with the disease than in the general population, especially in the case of siblings, parents, and children." Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_sclerosis

Yikes. Along with family history, the other major risk factors are age and gender. Per Mayo Clinic:

Age. Multiple sclerosis can occur at any age, but most commonly affects people who are ages 20 to 40.

Gender. Women are about twice as likely as men to develop multiple sclerosis.

Check and check. Double yikes.

Can I be honest? All of this scares me. A lot. It's not easy to watch my mom's condition deteriorate so quickly. But then to also think I (or my brothers) could have the same fate is incomprehensible.

I've been doing a lot of research on MS recently. Mainly I wanted to know what the warning signs are. If I ever have any of them, I am high tailing it a doctor STAT.

I don't want to live my life like I already have MS but I have to live like it's an option.

I have to be more aware of what's going on with my body.

I have to be more aware of how I take care of myself.

It's scary and kind of daunting to think about having to be "on alert". But I just continue to keep up on the latest research and make changes as needed to hopefully, lower my risk.

Colin updates!

I feel like Colin is changing so much every day. It makes my heart burst with pride and also makes me a little sad. Time goes by way too fast and I wish I could keep him little forever. Okay, not really forever but you know what I mean!

His language skills are rocking my world. We're able to actually hold short conversations with him now and it's so much easier for him to tell us what he needs.

Two quick stories:

1. He has an Elmo movie, "Elmo Goes to Grouchland" which he loves - I think because he can relate to Elmo. Elmo has a blue blanket just like Colin has a beloved blue blanket. Elmo loses the blanket and has to go to Grouchland to get it back. Every. Single. Time. we watch the movie, Colin gets so upset when Elmo loses his blanket and tonight he said to me as I was tucking him into bed "Me no lose blankie like Elmo". I'm such a softy...it brought tears to my eyes! I just love when he makes connections with things like that.

2. We had our first repeated cuss word experience recently. I was getting the house ready for my parents 40th wedding anniversary party and the cat was on the table eating the plastic banner. I said "Get off the table or I'm going to spank your ass". I thought I said it under my breath so little ears wouldn't hear but Colin followed it up by yelling "ASS!" Definitely not my proudest moment. I tried not to make a huge deal out of it because I don't want him to know he's not supposed to say that word. I mean, he's two. He's always pushing boundaries and I don't need to give him one more to push. Mark and I are definitely more careful with our language now!

Colin is such a great helper. He loves to help cook and do small chores around the house. His babysitter is always mentioning how good he does at picking up after himself the first time she asks. He loves to help the babies at daycare, too. He's just such a kind boy. He's got great manners, always saying "please" and "thank you".

I feel like I'm missing so much! I need to get a notebook and start writing things down so I don't forget!