Introducing Baby Testa # 2!







We did it again! And on the first try again! (Sorry if TMI, I just think it's incredible that we're 2 for 2 on the first try). FYI - this is going to be a very wordy post.








We had decided to start trying for a second baby on or around my 30th birthday (November 23rd). As luck would have it, I was also ovulating at that time and my most fertile day just happened to be November 23rd. Happy birthday to me!








For the next week or so, I honestly did not think I was pregnant. I was having cramps and my skin broke out - all tell tale signs that Aunt Flow is coming. The only pregnancy "signs" I had was a food aversion to peanut butter and extreme hunger. These two signs came literally days after we had started trying so I seriously thought there was no way my body was showing pregnancy signs yet. I did take a pregnancy test around Thanksgiving but the result was a clear negative. I'm still not sure why I took that test - I knew it was too early to take one!








On December  4th, which also happens to be Mark's birthday, I decided to take another pregnancy test. I was still having normal period symptoms but I just HAD to know, one way or another, if I was pregnant. I convinced Mark that I needed to take a test so while he was out picking up his birthday pizza for dinner, I tested. I promised him I wouldn't check the results without him...but I did anyway. And thank goodness I did! I checked the test once and only saw one line so I left it on the counter and accepted it was a negative result. Then something in my gut told me to go check the test again. I looked a little closer and saw a very faint second line. I ripped open the instructions and read that a second line, no matter how faint, was a positive result. I broke the rules by testing at night so I told Mark I would take another test the next morning. That test also had a faint second line! Mark and I had no idea what to think - we didn't want to get excited when it was still possible that I wasn't pregnant. So we decided to wait the rest of the week to see if my period started. If it didn't, I would take another test that Saturday.








Obviously Saturday morning came with no sign of my period so I took another test. This time, the line that's supposed to show up second for the positive result actually showed up first. It was obvious that I'm pregnant! There were definitely times when it still didn't feel real and there were times when Mark and I would look at each other and say "Oh my God. What have we done?!" Of course, we were very excited but parenting is hard! I think it's completely natural to have the desire for another child but to be scared out of your mind when it becomes a reality.
On January 16th, I had my first prenatal doctor appointment. I was told when I made the appointment that I would have an ultrasound to determine due date; I didn't have an early ultrasound with Colin so I was looking forward to it but I didn't really know what to expect. Would it look like a baby or just a blob? Turns out, it clearly looked like a baby! We were able to clearly see the arms, legs, head and belly. We also heard the heartbeat and saw the heart flickering. Words can't even describe the feeling when you first see your little baby on the screen...it's just so amazing.  The baby was calm during the beginning of the ultrasound but eventually started moving around. It was so fun to watch it dance around on the screen. I really wish I had a video of it but the doctors office doesn't allow recording in the ultrasound room. I can't wait for the next ultrasound when we'll get to find out the gender!

Thirty for 30

I'm turning 30 on November 23rd so I thought it would be fun to make a completely random list of 30 things on my mind right now. It's a mix of things about me and about life...but mostly it's about me! It is my birthday, after all.

Hope you enjoy!

1. I don't have flawless skin. I likely never will and I'm okay with that!
2. Treat everyone you meet (even total strangers) the way you want to be treated.
3. I have just figured out what I want to be when I grow up.
4. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! Even if you think it will make you breakout even more, MOISTURIZE.
5. Don't apologize for upsetting someone with your opinion.
6. I don't wash my hair everyday. Sometimes I even go 3 days in between washings. It's done wonders for my hair! It's longer and healthier than it's ever been.
7. I often give myself a hard time because I don't have a lot of friends. I have a handful of close friends I know I can count on and that's good enough for me.
8. Along with # 7, a lot of people don't know that I am painfully shy and awkward around new people. I always seem to say totally random things that make no sense. This makes me clam up and seem unapproachable.
9. I so wish I was more creative/crafty!
10. For the last 2 years, I've made the New Years Resolution to take more pictures of my family and friends. I still haven't accomplished it. Here's to next year!
11. I finally have a smart phone!
12. As I've gotten older, I've come to realize the importance of giving to those less fortunate than me. I hope to teach my children to be giving people
13. Don't ever ask me anything geography related. The answer will be "I don't know." True story: While looking at a map, I once asked my husband what country is connected to the left side of Canada. Answer: Alaska. See? Don't ask me about geography. And yes, I do know Alaska is not a country.
14. I love having long-ish hair but I have no idea how to style it.
15. I recently gave up caffeine...willingly.
16. I have a twelve year old cat. She's a total bitch but I love her.
17. New Girl is the funniest show ever.
18. Dry brushing your body feels amazing. And the Internet tells me it helps get rid of cellulite. Hallelujah!
19. I really don't like to just sit and watch TV or a movie. I would much rather do something productive with my time.
20. I'm not very good at standing up for myself. But that doesn't mean I let people walk all over me.
21. I absolutely love fall! Pumpkins, leaves, Thanksgiving, cooler weather. I love all of it!
22. I love the Christmas season, too. Notice I didn't say winter. As far as I'm concerned, once Christmas over it should be spring!
23. When my children are grown, I will fully support their decision to live with their significant others before marriage. It's my opinion that you have to learn to live with someone before adding the pressure of marriage into the mix.
24. Colin has reached the age where he's asking a million questions about everything. It's the best! It makes me so happy that he is so eager to learn. It makes my heart burst when I hear him repeat something I've taught him.
25. I can't say I love being a working mom because honestly, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I am so thankful for the daycare provider we found. She is amazing; so kind and patient. She's definitely a role model for me.
26. Coconut oil has single handedly changed my skin - for the better! I will never use conventional lotion again.
27. I clean my vacuum after I use it. Every time.
28. We have  3 animals: 2 dogs, 1 cat. While I mostly love them, I have declared to never have another pet after these 3 pass. No. More. Fur! My sanity cannot take it. Mark has joked that one day he'll just come home with a puppy and I swear I almost lost it on him.
29. I love looking at home decorating magazines. It's done nothing for my sense of style.
30. While turning 30 is a little hard to swallow, I'm honestly excited to see what the next decade has in store for me and my family.

That's it! Hopefully you learned something about me and maybe had a good laugh :)

Turning 30 and lots of planning

So I'm turning 30 on November 23rd.

I'm totally at peace with it. My twenties were great: I graduated college, bought a house, got married, had a baby. But I'm honestly looking forward to my thirties. I'm excited to watch our family grow and to see what is in store for us.

But the truth is my birthday is completely overshadowed by Baby Testa # 2.

We're planning to start trying in November.

Gulp.

Getting pregnant is the easy part. Planning to get the type of delivery I want and deserve is the hard part. And it shouldn't be that way in this country. But that's another post for another day.

I had a C-section with Colin so now I not only have to find a doctor and hospital who support my choice to attempt a VBAC, I also have to take extra steps in order to ensure my body is capable. I know, I know. Every woman's body is capable. But I have to prepare for the reality that mine might not be. I mean, Colin was only 5 pounds and his head got stuck in my pelvis...who knows if that will happen again.

For the better part of July I spent the majority of my free time researching chiropractors, acupuncturists, OB GYN's, hospitals and insurance coverage. It has been frightening, enraging...and enlightening. I have learned so much and I've become really passionate about this topic.

I have finally located a group practice that supports VBAC's. I also found a local doctor who specializes in chiropractic care and acupuncture for pregnant women. Both of these have been proven to prepare the body for labor. I'm planning to make appointments with both very soon - I want to have the majority of the "kinks" worked out before baby is on board. I figure since I've still got time I shouldn't waste it.

So there it is. I've had a lot going on lately. I'm not preoccupied with turning 30 with all of this on my mind!

A perfect weekend

We had the best weekend we've had in a while. The weather was finally beautiful and the toddler screaming sessions were, thankfully, minimal. Let me tell you, my mama heart needed a weekend like this. Colin is two and a half years old and he acts it. Most days his forms of communication are screams and demands. There's only so much of that I can take! To have two entire days where he was calm and back to the happy, sweet boy I know was AH-MAZING.

I never want to forget...

Playing in the fountain at Menard's while waiting for daddy.

Incessant giggles at lunch.

Family soccer games.

Three hour naps.

Random sayings of "love you, buddy mama."

Building a Lego tower that was taller than daddy and then knocking it over.

The entire weekend just gave me hope. The last few months have been very tough on me as a parent. Colin wants nothing to do with his dad. He wants me to do everything for him and if I don't or if Mark tries to help him, it sets him off into a major tantrum. He has screamed in my face, smacked me, kicked me. It's tough to keep calm in those types of situations. I hate being the mom who yells back but sometimes, I don't know what else to do.

The best parenting advice I was ever given was "Think of every stage as a season. It will soon pass." This saying has helped me tremendously recently. This past weekend felt like the first warm spring day after a bitter cold winter. It gave me something to look forward to. It gave me a sense that all of the tantrums and scream sessions will soon be behind us.

And I can't frickin' wait!

Talking to children about tragedy

I follow Parents magazine on Facebook and after Monday's horrific events in Boston, they posted (a version of) this question: How do/would you talk to your children about a tragedy like this?

It got me thinking. Being a parent, at some point I'm going to have to answer the "Why?" questions my children will have. And I want to be prepared. I thought about it on my way home from work and the first thing I decided is that I will not solicit questions from them. I want to let them come to me with their questions about these types of situations. If it doesn't directly affect them, I find it unnecessary to bring it into their little world.

That being said, I know one day they will come to me and ask why people do bad things to other people. I want them to know I don't have the answer to that question. The only person who can answer it is the person doing the bad things. And even if that person gives a reason, it's likely no one else will understand.

People who do good, do it quietly. People who do bad, do it loudly for all to see. This is why the good doesn't make the news headlines every day.

For every bad guy, there are 10 good guys. I noticed in the pictures of Boston how many people were rushing to the scene, not away from it. That gave me comfort and I want my children to look for the good in every situation. As my favorite saying goes: Believe there is good in the world. Be the good.

Help. If any of my children are put in a situation like what happened in Boston and they are not hurt but others around them are, I want them to stay and help (obviously only if their life isn't in danger by staying). Sit with a victim and talk to them. Tell them help is coming. Hug them. Hold their hand. Give them comfort. Get them somewhere they can receive medical attention. DO ANYTHING. Even the smallest act of kindness means the world to someone who is hurt.

 Most importantly, I don't want my children to live in fear of the world or of others.

So...

My mom was recently diagnosed with late onset progressive Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I have no idea if that's the correct name but that's what it is. It's a diagnosis she ultimately knew was coming but it wasn't until recently that her doctor confirmed she's suffering from MS.

MS is not considered to be hereditary (thank goodness) but "the risk of acquiring MS is higher in relatives of a person with the disease than in the general population, especially in the case of siblings, parents, and children." Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_sclerosis

Yikes. Along with family history, the other major risk factors are age and gender. Per Mayo Clinic:

Age. Multiple sclerosis can occur at any age, but most commonly affects people who are ages 20 to 40.

Gender. Women are about twice as likely as men to develop multiple sclerosis.

Check and check. Double yikes.

Can I be honest? All of this scares me. A lot. It's not easy to watch my mom's condition deteriorate so quickly. But then to also think I (or my brothers) could have the same fate is incomprehensible.

I've been doing a lot of research on MS recently. Mainly I wanted to know what the warning signs are. If I ever have any of them, I am high tailing it a doctor STAT.

I don't want to live my life like I already have MS but I have to live like it's an option.

I have to be more aware of what's going on with my body.

I have to be more aware of how I take care of myself.

It's scary and kind of daunting to think about having to be "on alert". But I just continue to keep up on the latest research and make changes as needed to hopefully, lower my risk.

Colin updates!

I feel like Colin is changing so much every day. It makes my heart burst with pride and also makes me a little sad. Time goes by way too fast and I wish I could keep him little forever. Okay, not really forever but you know what I mean!

His language skills are rocking my world. We're able to actually hold short conversations with him now and it's so much easier for him to tell us what he needs.

Two quick stories:

1. He has an Elmo movie, "Elmo Goes to Grouchland" which he loves - I think because he can relate to Elmo. Elmo has a blue blanket just like Colin has a beloved blue blanket. Elmo loses the blanket and has to go to Grouchland to get it back. Every. Single. Time. we watch the movie, Colin gets so upset when Elmo loses his blanket and tonight he said to me as I was tucking him into bed "Me no lose blankie like Elmo". I'm such a softy...it brought tears to my eyes! I just love when he makes connections with things like that.

2. We had our first repeated cuss word experience recently. I was getting the house ready for my parents 40th wedding anniversary party and the cat was on the table eating the plastic banner. I said "Get off the table or I'm going to spank your ass". I thought I said it under my breath so little ears wouldn't hear but Colin followed it up by yelling "ASS!" Definitely not my proudest moment. I tried not to make a huge deal out of it because I don't want him to know he's not supposed to say that word. I mean, he's two. He's always pushing boundaries and I don't need to give him one more to push. Mark and I are definitely more careful with our language now!

Colin is such a great helper. He loves to help cook and do small chores around the house. His babysitter is always mentioning how good he does at picking up after himself the first time she asks. He loves to help the babies at daycare, too. He's just such a kind boy. He's got great manners, always saying "please" and "thank you".

I feel like I'm missing so much! I need to get a notebook and start writing things down so I don't forget!